Profile

My name is Duncan. I live in Singapore.
I am 20 years old and studying in SP(clean energy).
Remember to give my present on every 8.o3!

Music

PLs bear with me for awhile i'm still editing this blog... thanks for ur understanding...

Wishes

1. TO find that smile once again.
2. A Car(Since i passed my driving license already)
3. THe best is : to be able to enjoy time with my friends!!!

Tagboard


Gentleman & Ladies

  • Lukas
  • Ken Ho
  • CJ{Dceg classmate}
  • JieYing[Mommy from SPSU]
  • MeiYin{Godma from SPSU}
  • Jill{dancesport friend}
  • Kristy
  • Amiel
  • JAN[DaJie from SPSU]
  • SHONA{DCEG classmate}
  • JunHAo {classmate/SPSUmate}
  • Sarah(SPSU/SPDS)
  • timothy(SPSU)
  • SHUNLI {DCEG CLASSMATE}
  • Skye [Dancesport Senior (SPDS)]
  • MEI [Dancesport Senior(SPDS)]
  • Sylvia [chris tan's classmate!!]
  • Han JinGRu
  • Adin
  • Eugene Har
  • Gerald
  • Matthew Ong
  • ZUL(SPSU)
  • Matthew Lim Zi Teng
  • Donavan
  • Ryan
  • Ivan Cheng
  • My Dad's blog
  • Shannon (My younger Sis)
  • Edwin
  • Gavin
  • Elisa
  • EVE
  • KIM

    • Previous

    1. March 2006
    1. April 2006
    1. July 2006
    1. August 2006
    1. September 2006
    1. January 2007
    1. February 2007
    1. July 2008
    1. August 2008
    1. September 2008
    1. October 2008
    1. November 2008
    1. December 2008
    1. January 2009
    1. February 2009
    1. April 2009
    1. July 2009
    1. November 2010
    1. January 2011
    1. February 2011
    1. March 2011
    1. September 2011

    Credits

    Designer: xiiaOmiie
    Image: Here
    Image Host: Photobucket
    Image Edit: GIMP 2.6
    Can't get a wink of sleep...

    i've been pretty much kept awake for the pass 5 hrs ?!(since 12 mn)

    i dont know what got over me...
    but...

    i took my iphone and looked at smses hoping that they would make me sleepy ?
    so off i went...
    and then i read sj msgs...
    it was so fun! all those moments...
    i was like reliving it or smth..
    then nar... i thought forget it.
    i had a funny idea....
    this is how its gona go...

    make friend with this particular friend(whiteroses)
    then explain story(situation)
    ask her to help me ?
    NO! not happening ...
    it way to long ago...
    well its gona be 1 yr soon since i last saw sj.

    i was reading her blog(whiteroses) on the very day sj told me stuff..
    and it looks like WR-whiteroses was comforting her.
    WR suggested to SJ that i was possibly takin SJ as a "Rebounce" ...
    of all nerve !but i can't blame her ...
    besides she never knew the full story!!

    I know this that when i had set my mind and Heart into wooing Sj it was real.
    it wasnt just smth in the spur of the moment.
    PLUS !!!
    WR i know u had some rough situation and most guys are jerks to u ...
    BUT! there are the few exception!
    i know whats like to see a Girl get heart broken i know whats like to see them suffer....
    i've seen it myself !

    I would like to thank my Older sister ...
    when she was young and got heart broken(not very often)
    i told myself that i would NEVER break any girl's heart like that.
    that if i werent true to her then dont !
    but guess what in the end guys like me get hurt but what can i do?
    haha simple suck it up like a man !
    its like a punch in the crutch!
    but u pick urself up and smile to the world...
    cause u know eventually it will go away.
    and that the right girl will come ur way!

    :D cheers to that !
    as National Service (NS) - enlisting in army a law passed for all abled body man that is pass 18yrs old to serve the army.
    its also arnd the time i first met sj ...
    this is gona be a very trialing time for myself ...
    to handle the NS and the reminders of her....

    but i'll ...
    i would like to send her a snail mail asap when i find out her address..
    then it would be a letter that i hope to move her to tears.. (happy ones i hope)
    and that we can be back soon !

    Duncan




    What are wrong ?

    I've graduated from SP !!
    GPA: 2.224
    Low score ...
    Shouldn't have fooled arnd in yr 1 !!

    Nvm what's done is done !!

    Today I got a super good scolding by my best friend ...
    I feel sad, anguished, disappointed... Alone ...
    I am diluting myself by thinking there's any hope for Su jean and I ..
    He used an explanation of two ppl who agreed to "exchange" Hp ?
    So if 1 party backs down the agreement is voided ...

    I so know that ...
    But this is what's happening now ...

    I fear that if I move on I will wish the chance to get back with Su jean ...
    Yes my best friend is right ...
    I cant move on cos I want an explanation from Su jean !
    I want to know was it real ?
    I want to know what is it that made it turn out like this ...
    I can't stop thinking abt her ... And when I do ..
    I get some scary dream that to me is just torturing myself ...
    My best friend rather I continue and be me make more friends ...

    Adelyn is a newest friend I got I guess ...
    But hey she is cute and all better then Su jean physically !
    But that's not the point !!
    Cause I can't think abt adelyn ...

    I can't go into another rls only to hurt others ...
    I right now need friends to help me remember who I am !
    Because I've forgotten who I am that I am lost ...
    My father keeps on forcing me to work and give me the eyes like I'm some lich !!
    I survive like 3 days on $10 max u know how hard that is ...
    I'm trying to get a job and I have !! But seriously !!
    Can't he be patient ! He works like what a few hours and he's home gaming !
    He should seriously get a better pay job to help mom out !

    No no I shouldnt redirect my anger ...
    I'm pissed at Su jean ...
    For being immature ...
    I mean even kindergarten kids like each other would play with each other ..
    But no u must distance yourself ...
    All for what ?
    If Su jean u really think it's over talk and play like normal !
    I can do that ! I've done it b4 !
    So if I where to "woo" another girl then what ?
    I wanted us to be together so badly...
    Now more then ever ...
    I don't "woo" any girl I see ...
    I only "woo" if I can see a future with them ...
    And Su jean I saw a future with you !
    But now u only just walked just of that pic...
    And u burnt it down ...

    What are words...
    When u say them only for the good times...
    And leave when you needed me most ...
    What kind of man will I be if I where not to be able to keep my word ...
    With the promise I made I really intent to keep it ...
    This hope that u would be moved by my heart is what I keep holding on ...
    Yes say im native or stupid ..
    All I know is that I'm your silly boy ... :)
    * * * * * *
    (a moment of pause)
    * * * * * *
    im tormenting myself & I can't help it ...
    I still think abt all the places where we met ...
    And each time I pass that place I see u, -Su jean
    And with me either laughing away smiling away ..
    Crying away ...
    When u cried I was there for u ... I lend u my shoulder
    Now if I where to cry would u ? Lend me ur shoulder
    And comfort me ?
    I alrdy know that answer for now is no ..
    ( tears roll down)
    My birthday wish was that you would just wish me a happy birthday ..
    That's all !
    It nv came I waited all day ... Nth ...
    I believe that I got your heart once I can do it again !
    That's where u just run and shut me out ...
    Ur birthday 24 apr 1992
    I really am thinking hard what shld I do !!

    If my best friend ever read this...
    This is how I really feel abt her and I and u say she isn't affecting me
    Only myself is true but she has gotten me and I can't forget her..
    I nv forget any friend what more a person which I am so close to ?

    Duncan. In distressed !!




    A nightmare

    So today I awoke at 5am ...
    A nightmare...

    I thought it was over I really do !
    That I was moving on ...
    But this just proves otherwise ...

    It was a dream where aloy, hy, sj and myself was involved ...

    To begin with it was either hy returning or aloy ORD or smth I can't quite remember it ...
    All I know that it was impt but not impt as I would rank it...
    Sj walks right into me without realizing ...
    Until she stares at me ..
    Then it hits her ...
    But she moved away ...
    Apparently meeting hy and aloy ...
    Near an mrt ...
    Aloy passed me the msg that she would like to speak with me..
    Her face was like worried nervous yet anxious ...

    I just blew her off ...
    And left ....
    After like 5-10 mins walk away I realised that could be the chance I was hoping for !
    I ran back towards the mrt as fast as I could ...
    Dashing across traffic without a care ...
    When I reached back to aloy and hy ...
    Sj was gone ! Out of sight ...
    I pictured her face with disappointment ...
    About that promise to her...
    I was filled with despair that I broke it in the harshest manner ...
    My heart literially sunk and I fell on my knees ...
    She had gone just like that ...
    I cried out aloud !
    Then I awoke ...

    I couldn't go back to sleep ...
    I tried ...
    But that face of her kept appearing ...
    So why does the heart torment it's own soul ?!
    Her face of disappointment and tears kept coming to me ...
    I just couldn't sleep ...

    I would wait for just a word or two from her ...
    Or even just a single one ...
    Just that single one ...
    To be reminded of her again ...
    I don't know what's wrong anymore ...
    I'm screwed up ...
    A wash up ...
    I'm starting to worry ...
    Will I ever get over her ?!
    If sj u ever read this ...
    Pls forgive for the mistake I made ...
    And that I'm still single yes but for now u ain't ready ...
    This dream I ran from you...
    In life I will never make that mistake ...
    Talk to me soon ...
    Then I will know when u will be ready ..
    I still miss you so badly ...
    There's not a day where I go by not thinking about you ...
    Call it Emo but it's not I'm just sentimental in my thinking ...

    Duncan Ng
    Reminded of Chuan Su jean again ...




    A dream..

    It has been 3months since I last saw Su jean in person ...
    And I really thought that I'm movin on and that possibly ...
    I would forget about her ...
    I was mistaken ...
    I had a dream ...
    In this dream was so clear ...
    I finally met her again ...
    I tried to play it cool but I failed ...
    I was able to get some alone time with her..
    Talkin and askin ...
    She didn't run..
    Instead she explained and if she couldn't answer...
    She would tell me to give her time to think..
    But she would wonder around ...
    And I would panic and search for her...
    But time and time again I see her face...
    A troubled face.. A puzzled face...
    I felt so bad ... To force her for an answer...
    So I went up and I just hugged her ...
    While doing that I told her ...
    "it's okay forget it. I'm sorry." ...
    Then it was a blank ...
    Awoke at 7am sharp ...
    Puzzled and troubled once again...


    Duncan
    I wished that u would talk to me ....